Tricia;

visionary, ordinary, legendary, missionary.

  • 9th July
    2012
  • 09
  • 9th May
    2011
  • 09
  • 8th May
    2011
  • 08
  • 3rd May
    2011
  • 03
  • 3rd May
    2011
  • 03
  • 18th February
    2011
  • 18

Goodnight, Feb. 17

I won’t be sending you a goodnight message in our little bbm chatroom beginning today because I want to teach you a lesson, no matter how hard this is for me. Everything’s so hard for me lately, and I can’t even look at you the same way. Today we spent the whole day together, watching movies, eating… I tried to act as normal as I can but twas really hard. Whenever I see you, I want to cry. :( I remember being hurt all over again, and it hurts more knowing that you’re the reason behind it. I know it wasn’t entirely your fault, but I know I’ve warned you wayyy back, that I’ve zero tolerance when it comes to issues like ‘that’. But anyway, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I just want to say I’m sorry if I’ve been hurting and making you feel sad these past few days. I know I’ve been mean, but I’m doing this for us. I want us to be stronger if we’d ever get out of this mess alive. Mahal na mahal kita. Nothing’s changed, I just have to believe in myself again. I am sorry and I love you, goodnight. :* Oh and one more thing,

I miss being makulit and malambing when I’m with you. I want to be like that again. :|

  • 10th February
    2011
  • 10

Madness.

Can I start by saying that I am a fucked-up semi grown-up? I’ll be turning 22 this year yet I don’t know what to do with my life. For sure, I’ll be graduating this year. But the question still is,

What am I gonna do next?

I know what I wanted eversince. I’ve always wanted to become a writer, a journalist per se. Or a broadcast journalist. I find it really interesting and for me that’s the only job that wouldn’t feel like work, or a job for me.

I can do that, but will other people understand? I always pray for wisdom, for me and the others so that everything will soon fall into place.

Please God, in Your own time and will?

  • 10th February
    2011
  • 10
And finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and could be, if there weren’t any other people living in the world.
Anne Frank (via ireadintothings)

(Source: quote-book)

  • 10th February
    2011
  • 10
It seems to me there is so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe that if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamed of.
Vincent van Gogh, Doctor Who

(Submitted by icravethemoment)

(Source: quote-book)

  • 26th January
    2011
  • 26
  • 23rd January
    2011
  • 23

I couldn’t help it.

But I just have to blog about him now. His name is Gabriel Franco Roca Balenton. He is the most complicated person I have ever known. When I met him, he was this fucked up little boy who looked so serious (man, was he dead serious and mysterious). He’d always have problems, sometimes too petty, but he takes them as if they were too heavy (rhymes? ;) He’d be texting about his problems, he was so helpless. I felt like I have been dealing with a child. When I met him a couple of years back, I thought to myself, “What a fragile little thing.. If given a chance, I’d take good care of him and never leave his side.”

And yes, after a year or so of bumpy happy never-easy days, weeks, months with him, I was finally given that chance to be with him. It was still, as expected, never easy. He still is complicated.

But now I see him always smiling, happy, jolly, sweet and caring, singing, dancing… That version of him I never thought I’d get to see.

Being in a relationship with him wasn’t the best, more so ideal thing to ever happen in a girl’s life. We always fight, sometimes over the most stupid things. He makes me cry, actually for so many times. When he’s mad, he’s mean. And no guy was ever mean to me. But oh, he means so much to me.

Our relationship is so peculiar that I don’t think anyone else could handle it the way we do.

And that’s what makes him special.

He’s real.

He’s not the prince, nor the knight in shining Armani. He’s a 19-year-old trying to find himself, trying to figure things out.

In the past 2 years that we have known each other, I have learned more about him. I got to know the deeper side of him. And I am glad I had that chance.

He really is something.

What that is, I would not disclose. 

But I tell you, that made me want to love him more. To understand and respect him, to make him happy.

Now I can see how far he’d come. He is now more responsible, more considerate, more loving, more positive, better…

But I was not at all responsible for those changes.

He was really bound to be like that, to be great. He just needed some push. And I know somehow someday, he can be whatever he’d want to be. Cause he is nothing but amazing. :)

Today is our 7th month, and this is actually past my relationship due date. After 3 months I usually look for reasons to get out of a relationship. But now I am aiming for more, I actually am wanting for our relationship to work. I tell you, this is really a whole new version of me (if you’re close to me you’d know ;P) It’s like TY wearing pink and sporting a Hello Kitty bag.

Anyway my point is that I am in love with a beautiful man, and I pray that he’d get to see it too cause I’m not one to take time to dig deeper in someone’s being, but I have seen it in him. And I know I’m right, I swear I’m right. :)

  • 21st January
    2011
  • 21
poptartice:

Hi, Mommy. I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve gotbeautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but Iwill when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call meyour one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but wehave each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want tobe a doctor when I grow up.You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’twait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life wasperfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face Iwill see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. Iknow it already.Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him aboutme! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think thatyou noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something calledwedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understandyet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he didsomething scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, andyour hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sadfor you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. Itdoesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if Ido. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? Idon’t like it, Mommy.Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, andyou’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the mostbeautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’mhappiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just waitand see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I willmake you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put yourhands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I loveyou, Mommy.Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was actingfunny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’tknow why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise toprotect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a goodperson, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t wantus. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me ortouched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? Istill love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is whenyou sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hugme with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you dothat when you’re awake, any more?I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re goingsomewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like ahospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tellyou that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’tknow what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I thinksomething’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared,Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I loveyou!Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! Itfeels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. Theytold me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did youget rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did somethingwrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Whydon’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I wantto live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not careabout me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please sayyou’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds andsee your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, Iwant you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I didsomething wrong. I love you!I love you, Mommy.Every abortion is just…One more heart that was stopped.Two more eyes that will never see.Two more hands that will never touch.Two more legs that will never run.One more mouth that will never speak.If you’re against abortion, reblog.

poptartice:

Hi, Mommy. I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.
Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got
beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I
will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me
your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we
have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want to
be a doctor when I grow up.



You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’t
wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was
perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I
will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I
know it already.



Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about
me! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that
you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called
wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand
yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did
something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and
your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad
for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It
doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,
and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I
do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? I
don’t like it, Mommy.



Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and
you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,
and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most
beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m
happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait
and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will
make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.



I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your
hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love
you, Mommy.



Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting
funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t
know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,
Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to
protect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good
person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want
us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?



You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?



It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or
touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I
still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when
you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug
me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do
that when you’re awake, any more?



I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going
somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a
hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell
you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.



…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t
know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think
something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love
you!



Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It
feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!



Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They
told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.



Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you
get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something
wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why
don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want
to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say
you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and
see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, I
want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did
something wrong. I love you!





I love you, Mommy.



Every abortion is just…



One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.



If you’re against abortion, reblog.

(via mchllemoran)

  • 21st January
    2011
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  • 21st January
    2011
  • 21
  • 21st January
    2011
  • 21